I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
