Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
