i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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