i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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