I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
