just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
