So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
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You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
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I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid