Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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