I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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