Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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