Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Randomize
