Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
My balls are so social today.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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