In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
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