I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
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Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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