You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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