I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
