You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
