just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
