I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
