you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
