i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
