I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
