When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
