I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
