i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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