i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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