Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
