so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
