Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
