..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
