do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
