Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
