i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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