I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
