Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
