Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
