i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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