she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
