Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
