fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
