It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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