weddingsv make me drug and hornr
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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