dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
