There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
