Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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