Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
