I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
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