She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize