Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Couch. On fire.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
