i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize