i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
