I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
