I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
