I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
