The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
