6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
