Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.

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  (203): I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do. http://tfl.nu/muw0
  Replies (16) Good night (3103) Bad night (684) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"

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  (410): In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!" http://tfl.nu/p213
  Replies (23) Good night (1299) Bad night (7566)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.

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  (812): My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here. http://tfl.nu/tf3w
  Replies (17) Good night (645) Bad night (4516) Order T-Shirt
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.

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  (864): For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before. http://tfl.nu/hdcs
  Replies (35) Good night (8711) Bad night (1065) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.

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  (519): You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know. http://tfl.nu/dzr5
  Replies (15) Good night (6723) Bad night (947)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.

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  (801): Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with. http://tfl.nu/sran
  Replies (13) Good night (2046) Bad night (3099) Order T-Shirt
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.

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  (808): He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that. http://tfl.nu/smq4
  Replies (6) Good night (2058) Bad night (861) Order T-Shirt
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position

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  (205): Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position http://tfl.nu/050n
  Replies (3) Good night (901) Bad night (1791) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.

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  (503): Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting. http://tfl.nu/fbmg
  Replies (6) Good night (2573) Bad night (397) Order T-Shirt
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.

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  (608): hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink. http://tfl.nu/2o9s
  Replies (4) Good night (1122) Bad night (426) Order T-Shirt
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  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.

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  (+64): The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care. http://tfl.nu/n9x9
  Replies (2) Good night (1414) Bad night (519)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation

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  (520): Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation http://tfl.nu/bc5i
  Replies (1) Good night (1000) Bad night (403) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?

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  (845): Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ? http://tfl.nu/zpud
  Replies (8) Good night (1307) Bad night (324) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.

  (1-407): View more from Florida

  That's horrible but hilarious

  (407): View more from Florida

  I'm going to miss college.

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  (407): Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else. (1-407): That's horrible but hilarious (407): I'm going to miss college. http://tfl.nu/1mp1
  Replies (4) Good night (425) Bad night (229)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.

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  (970): I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot. http://tfl.nu/spo7
  Replies (0) Good night (406) Bad night (158)

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