And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize