I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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