yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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